They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize