I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
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I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
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It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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