Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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