I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize