Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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