a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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