so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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