its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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