It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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