the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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