That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize