I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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