I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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