Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize