Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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