How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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