i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize