sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize