I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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