there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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