I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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