im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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