Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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