So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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