I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
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Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
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I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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