the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize