YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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