a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize