Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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