today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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