garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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