'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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