I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize