You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize