All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
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I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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