no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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