I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
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Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
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When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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