She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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