if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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