Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
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You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
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The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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