Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
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