theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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