Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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