I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize