I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize