Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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