I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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