Texts From Last Night

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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.

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  (985): i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not. http://tfl.nu/eg76
  Replies (54) Good night (2859) Bad night (521) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...

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  (630): I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends. (1-630): if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs... http://tfl.nu/id4n
  Replies (51) Good night (10437) Bad night (1402)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"

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  (281): So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head" http://tfl.nu/fk9k
  Replies (34) Good night (5946) Bad night (1385)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.

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  (832): I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover. http://tfl.nu/1njk
  Replies (14) Good night (3000) Bad night (1065) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.

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  (618): So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in. http://tfl.nu/s63a
  Replies (39) Good night (4075) Bad night (5173) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.

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  (269): Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option. http://tfl.nu/dknj
  Replies (22) Good night (6186) Bad night (964) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer

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  (210): Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer http://tfl.nu/6bxa
  Replies (16) Good night (5419) Bad night (851)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.

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  (270): they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone. http://tfl.nu/t9of
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?

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  (314): who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night? http://tfl.nu/qhm4
  Replies (3) Good night (1791) Bad night (658) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.

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  (763): FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though. http://tfl.nu/i3qf
  Replies (6) Good night (2359) Bad night (938)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.

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  (860): We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn. http://tfl.nu/ndq7
  Replies (4) Good night (2710) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know

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  (570): I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know http://tfl.nu/nr32
  Replies (3) Good night (1916) Bad night (544) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite

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  (949): Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite http://tfl.nu/rl1y
  Replies (7) Good night (538) Bad night (831)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Would you like season tickets to my vagina?

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  (502): Would you like season tickets to my vagina? http://tfl.nu/fkgh
  Replies (12) Good night (1434) Bad night (152) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.

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  (941): Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door. http://tfl.nu/cryx
  Replies (5) Good night (244) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt

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