I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
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I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
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Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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