I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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