all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize